How do you define boundaries & why clearly identify them?
The Importance of Outlining Boundaries. The world is comprised of seven different continents and there are 195 countries that coexist around the world. Although boundaries between countries are circumscribed by a line on a map, the lines we see on the map are not visible in real life. Even though we can’t see the lines that separate different territories, people accept that they exist and understand how far they can go before crossing into another territory.
The concept of boundaries also exists in our everyday human relationships. Boundaries can be something physical, such as asking your roommate not to invade your privacy by barging into your room. They can also be psychological, such as asking your partner to accept your moral values and belief system even if it does not align with yours.
However, many of us were never taught how to set healthy boundaries in relationships, and the concept of boundaries can often make us feel uncomfortable. But boundaries aren’t necessarily a bad thing. They play a vital role in maintaining a balanced relationship with people around us and ameliorating your mental health and sense of identity.
Without healthy boundaries, your relationship with people can quickly become unhealthy and toxic. You might become overwhelmed by a friend who constantly demands attention or feels violated by your partner who searches through your phone without your consent. You might have a friend who keeps borrowing money and never pays you back or parents who are overly involved with making your life decisions. These are just a few examples of what toxic relationships can be like without clear boundaries.
Boundaries are also needed in work settings if you are dealing with a coworker who exhausts your time and disregards your needs. Unhealthy boundaries at work can spill into your home life and reduce the quality of your personal life. Overextending yourself in your professional life can quickly lead to emotional exhaustion and a poor quality of life.
Tips For Establishing Boundaries
If you’re not used to setting and maintaining boundaries, it can be hard to know how to start. Here are some tips to consider to help you get started.
Think about why you want to set boundaries in your relationship
Is there something making you uncomfortable? Is the other person continuing to do something that you don’t like? Identifying what is happening and what you need can be a good way to determine the boundary you need to set.
Start small.
You don’t need to set big, rigid boundaries in all of your relationships all at once. You can start small, build them up slowly, and then re-evaluate. After setting small boundaries, you can ask yourself: are you heading in the right direction? Have things in your relationship improved with these small boundaries? Do you need to go further?
Set boundaries early in new relationships.
Whether you make a new friend, start a new job, or meet a new romantic partner, try to set your boundaries and expectations from the very beginning. While you can establish boundaries in an existing relationship, it can sometimes be challenging for you and the other person to change. By putting boundaries in place at the beginning, everyone knows where they stand right at the beginning.
If someone crosses your boundaries, let them know.
Communication can be an important piece of setting, maintaining, and reinforcing boundaries. If someone crosses one of your boundaries, you can speak up and communicate to them that you feel uncomfortable.
For example, if you have told a friend that there is a certain topic you don’t feel comfortable talking about, but they keep asking you about it, you can consider saying something like, “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that, can we talk about something else?”
Consider your own well-being.
Setting and maintaining boundaries can be a bold act of self-care. If you value yourself, your time, and your emotional, mental, and physical well-being, you will be more likely to maintain the boundaries that you’ve established.
Respect and appreciate other people’s boundaries.
If you want others to respect your boundaries, it’s important to respect their boundaries as well. It wouldn’t be fair to disregard someone else’s boundaries but then expect them to honor yours—healthy relationships involve mutual respect, and boundaries can go both ways. (Better Help)
How Therapy can help with setting your boundaries?
If you need help setting and maintaining healthy boundaries or want support navigating a relationship with someone who continues to ignore yours, consider talking to a therapist. Therapy can help you identify what boundaries might be useful for you in your relationships and give you the skills you need to help ensure your needs are met.
When you’re trying to set and enforce new boundaries, it can be challenging and confusing at times, and you may find that you have questions popping up about how best to handle a situation—such as when a parent disrespects a boundary you’ve just set. In these situations, it can be helpful to be able to reach out for support in those moments when those questions arise.
Proficiently setting healthy boundaries can change many aspects of your life. It helps with family and relationship dynamics, alleviates work stress by setting reasonable expectations, and improves your quality of life. Setting boundaries can start by verbalizing what makes you feel comfortable or uncomfortable. You must take the initiative to communicate your needs and expectations with others to eliminate any false expectations or confusion.
The power of implementing boundaries can impact the quality of your life. For more such guidance, you can book counseling sessions online, at Lighthouse Mental Health Counseling. It extends a lifeline to those facing anxiety, depression, trauma, and other mental health challenges. With the help of Counseling and therapy, individuals learn to differentiate their own needs and desires by strengthening their sense of self-worth. Even individuals can control the power of boundaries to transform their lives, foster healthier relationships, manage stress, and venture on a journey toward lasting mental health and happiness.